Workplace bullying in New Zealand is similar to bullying in other parts of the world, except that in New Zealand, once the bullying behaviour is started by a supervisor or manager, the rest of the staff under him will also partake in bullying behaviour, so it becomes a collective effort that sometimes happens quite subtle, at first, but increasingly becomes more toxic, isolating and detrimental to any normal person’s mental wellbeing and contributes to great unhappiness at work and about life in general.
It should be of no surprise that New Zealand has a high rate of suicide among teenagers. One of the highest in the world per capita regarding teenage female suicide. It is quite shocking that they are still researching where it might come from. The use of drugs such as weed and meth is also quite high. It is a problem that is widely recognised by government, employers and mental health professionals. Yet, both legislation and the private sector fall short on doing anything about it. At first one would think this is perhaps a way to get rid of people easily, as if it was hard to fire someone in New Zealand. But then it becomes evident, after going through one of these “processes” that it actually consumes more time, more staff and cost more money than going through the normal legal channels of dismissing someone for poor performance. What makes it even more sinister is the fact that it is often not related to someone’s job performance, but out of mere racism, chauvinism, hatred and intolerance of other people’s personalities and cultural diversity.
Bullying in New Zealand is meant to break your self-confidence, making you feel isolated, paranoid, weak and afraid, making it so hard for you to be at work that you have no option but to leave. It is a form of collective rejection that, according to a psychologist I spoke with on this subject, it goes to our very chore of a primitive sense of security and survival that comes with being part of a tribe. By threatening that sense, the person feels insecure, may develop depression, in extreme cases suicidal thoughts requiring mental health support by a professional and medication. It is cruel and quite sadistic, but as I was able to observe, as a person watching from outside, many kiwis actually enjoy taking part in the bullying scenario, much like in high school or elementary school when a boy takes an embarrassing photo of a girl and sends it to a group of people, who all resend it and laugh about it. It makes the others feel that they belong, which is quite a comforting feeling in a place like New Zealand, full of so many awkward social interactions.
Because it is highly unprofessional, many foreigners can’t believe or understand what is happening at first, as this behaviour is deterred in the professional environment in other parts of the world and many have never experienced it before. It can backfire if you try to stand up against the bully on your own, with equal aggression, because if you retaliate with similar insults or behaviour, you will be accused by the bullies themselves of being a bully and will be called unprofessional (gaslighting, ignoring the cause of your reaction and placing all the blame on YOUR response). Most kiwis deal with it by ignoring the behaviour, seeking mental health support, medication, pretending to be “fake happy” at work, as a Chinese friend once pointed out, pretending it didn’t bother them, asking to be transferred to a different department, even changing their behaviour to please the bullies, or simply quitting the job and if they have enough evidence, filing a personal grievance and getting compensation through a confidential settlement, as we explain in our 6 STEPS at www.finalpaynz.com.
The important thing that you must recognize is that this is not an isolating incident that happened only to you, or only at your workplace, or that you are the main cause of this behaviour. Recognize it is a cultural problem and you need to learn strategies to cope.
Related Posts
