Bullies can be quite likeable people at first glance. Like narcissists and abusive men/women who gaslight spouses to make them think they are crazy when the spouse suspects cheating, bullies can be funny, popular, and even competent. One trait that characterises bullies is that they usually operate mostly in a passive aggressive way and perform their bullying in private to the individual. Almost like a split personality and quite creepy. Their bullying messages are disguised so as to make the bullied person seem crazy and “making things up”. Often the bullied person is not believed or even accused of being the problem.
While passive-aggressive tactics are common tools for bullies, manifesting through discreet and often private interactions to discredit and destabilise the victim (such as minimising emails, harassing, nitpicking comments one-on-one) bullying can also take on more overt forms. Physical bullying includes aggressive or harmful physical interactions, while verbal bullying involves derogatory or insulting language. Cyberbullying, a particularly insidious form, leverages digital platforms to perpetuate harm, often anonymously, via private caller threatening messages, text, social media, etc. Recognizing these varied forms is crucial in comprehensively addressing bullying behaviours.
Bullying can involve actions as evident as physical intimidation or as subtle as social exclusion. At its core, it includes behaviours like spreading rumours, mocking remarks, orchestrating isolation, and engaging in public humiliation. Each action, whether blunt or hidden, is designed to chip away at the victim's sense of security and self-worth. It is also intended to make the bully be perceived as stronger in the work environment. Sadly, many of them are actually promoted in New Zealand for such bullish behaviour, rather than dismissed or given a warning, as it would be the case in other parts of the world. In a way, it is a sort of "popularity contest" that is promoted, encouraged and sometimes even labelled as "leadership" skills in New Zealand out of lack of knowledge of true leadership skills, mostly. It often produces the exact opposite effect of leading and motivating: it demoralises and causes dissatisfaction in the workplace.
The effects of being bullied extend beyond immediate emotional distress or social discomfort. Victims often experience long-lasting psychological repercussions, including depression, anxiety, and a pervasive sense of isolation. These impacts can severely affect academic achievement and social interactions, altering the course of a person’s life if unaddressed. They also affect job profitability and the sense of being part of a good work environment. It results in people leaving their job looking for better environments where they feel welcomed and accepted.
It is often the case that other people's initial reaction is to judge the bullied person as having done something wrong to deserve it. Because bullying causes changes in behaviour, the bullied person sometimes becomes edgy, jumpy, more defensive (as bullying is definitely an attack on someone’s sense of self, security and peace of mind), so then he/she is accused of being “too sensitive” or “too paranoid” or the incident being a “matter of perception” and denying the person’s valid feelings and observations. It is a typical HR response to question the person's perception of the incident, and to deny their feelings even if their is a GP medical report, which they often dismiss as "subjective, based on the employee's perception" even if there was medication prescribed and evident signs of stress!!!
Bystanders play a dual role in the dynamics of bullying. They can either contribute to the perpetuation of bullying through silence or complicity, or they can act as critical agents of change by intervening or supporting the victim. Educating bystanders on the importance of their role and how to effectively intervene can dramatically alter the social acceptance of bullying behaviours. It is often the case that other colleagues will side with the bully if he is the boss. In cases where bullying is the result of racism or chauvinism, they will side with their peer (i.e. white kiwi male or female, or maori, or male boss if the target is a woman). The reason for this is fear of retaliation, self-preservation of one's job or becoming a target themselves. Perhaps losing a promotion, since the bully typically gets promoted (sadly). However, becoming a support person for a bullied coworker is not only a great gesture as a human being and the right thing to do, it can also have a great effect in discouraging the practice at the work place and in society in general. More people need to speak up and stand up against it, for the greater benefit of making the practice socially unacceptable. Everyone wins, except the bully.
Addressing bullying requires a multi-pronged approach that includes educational programs, clear anti-bullying policies in schools and workplaces, and access to counselling and support services for all parties involved. Creating environments where open discussions about the harmful effects of bullying and the importance of respect and empathy are encouraged can foster a more inclusive and supportive community ethos. All these are great, and usually found in HR manuals. However, the key is to really translate it into real-life situations and practice, rather than hypocritical manuals that pretend to be against it, but it does not translate to firm action against bullies or actual support for the bullied person who won't feel necessary to quit his or her job and get compensation. While we teach here the way to collect compensation because we want to create awareness and help others fight back, we are certain that most people would rather stay in a good work environment where they are respected and not harassed.
Legal frameworks and organisational policies must be put in place to provide clear consequences for bullying behaviours and to offer protection and recourse for victims. These measures not only deter potential bullies but also provide a safety net for those impacted, ensuring they have access to justice and support. Laws that make bullying a matter of Health and Safety should be implemented in New Zealand. It has a direct impact on a person's mental and physical wellbeing. As such, it needs to be considered a Health and Safety matter to be address in the same way like an employer neglecting the health of employees by not providing safety gear, Fire Exits and First Aid Kits would be treated. The behaviour needs to be deter strongly rather than indulged.
The underlying mechanisms and impacts of bullying behaviour reveal a destructive force in society that requires comprehensive strategies for recognition, intervention, and prevention. Understanding the full spectrum of bullying is essential in cultivating environments that nurture respect, empathy, and justice.
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