Dealing with workplace bullying can often feel like navigating a minefield, especially when internal systems seem to be part of the problem rather than the solution. Here are some strategies that might help when conventional methods fall short.
In the first instance, normally you would raise the issue to your supervisor or if the supervisor is the bully, raise the issue with his supervisor or HR and file a complaint. However, in New Zealand, this normally does not end up well.
Generally, HR will initially step in, but eventually will try to hide or deny that bullying is taking place with phrases such as "this might just be your perception" (gaslighting) or "Colin has such a great sense of humour, you may be taking it the wrong way" (denial, minimization and disregard for your feeling).
If your supervisor is in good rank with his supervisor, they will try to protect him and the behaviour not only persists but it also gets worse. It is very hard to deal with on your own, as it requires mental strength and it is meant to make the person “toughen up” by committing similar unprofessional behaviour that goes against many people’s principles and values, as it should.
Document Every Detail
It’s crucial to document every incident of bullying meticulously. Note down dates, times, specifics of what was said or done, and the names of any witnesses. This documentation can become essential if you need to escalate the issue beyond the immediate supervisory chain, particularly in environments where bullying is not taken seriously.
Build Your Support Network
While HR departments may initially intervene, they might eventually minimise or dismiss your concerns, especially if the bully holds a significant position within the company. Furthermore, what they do to "help" such as talk to your coworkers or start investigations, can actually make matters worse and make you feel alienated, stressed out, depressed, cause tension headaches, nightmares, feeling unworthy and inadequate so as to make you want to quit. Be strong, hang in there, don't let them win just like that.
It’s vital to seek support elsewhere—reach out to trusted colleagues, your friends and family even overseas, let them know what is happening. Sometimes it is so pathetic you can actually laugh about it when telling someone else overseas who may have a different idea about New Zealand.
Find a mentor outside of your immediate work environment, or connect with professional networks. This support network can provide not just emotional backing but also advice and insights on how to handle the situation.
Seek Counselling if Symptoms are Severe
Counselling, especially from someone who has experienced bullying in New Zealand (a great number of kiwis have), can be a valuable support.
Some employers provide Employee Assistance Program EAP, but regardless of how confidential they claim to be, just be aware that there is never real confidentiality in New Zealand, so use this service with caution or find external counselling through GP referral and free mental health online services.
There are plenty of you tube videos on workplace bullying, but find specific ones for New Zealand, as the level of harassment and the way it is done here is quite more brutal than in other places, being part of the "culture" since as early as primary school, where bullies often get away with it.
Since the consequences can lead to PTSD, depression, quitting your career, getting triggered at other jobs, becoming too defensive, anger and resentment, feeling unmotivated, it is extremely critical to look after your mental health. Beware that coworkers, while they may sympathise with you, often take the side of the boss to protect their own jobs.
It is best to get external support, which is why in New Zealand they offer the right to bring a "support person" to meetings related to HR matters, or with termination of employment. It is a concept that does not exist in America and most other parts of the world. The idea being that the emotional pressure is such that you may need to bring your parents, partner or friend to prevent further attacks. That in itself says a lot about how harsh they know they can be.
Understand Your Legal Rights
Educate yourself on your rights under local employment laws. Knowing what legal protections you have can empower you to take further steps if internal processes fail. In some cases, bullying can be a form of harassment or discrimination, which might provide legal avenues for resolution.
Look for External Help
If the internal route gets you nowhere, it might be time to look outside the organisation. This could mean seeking advice from legal professionals or reaching out to governmental bodies that oversee employment and human rights. These external entities can offer guidance on how to proceed, potentially giving you leverage that internal complaints cannot.
Encourage Preventive Measures
Encourage your workplace to adopt more stringent measures to prevent bullying. This includes regular training on workplace conduct, clear anti-bullying policies, and a genuine top-down commitment to a healthy work culture. While this is a long-term solution, your advocacy for change can make a significant difference.
Choose Your Battles
Sometimes, the best way to respond to unchanging toxic behaviour is to plan an exit strategy. It’s an unfortunate last resort, but your health and well-being are paramount. Looking for opportunities elsewhere can provide a fresh start in a more respectful environment.
In environments like New Zealand, where the institutional response to bullying can sometimes exacerbate the problem, these steps provide alternative paths to address and overcome workplace bullying. It’s a challenging journey, but one where standing up for your principles and seeking justice is crucial.
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